You need to connect to events CursorMoved,CursorMovedI, and then define the selection group under the cursor with synIDattr(synIDtrans(synID(line("."), col("."), 1)), "name"). If this is one of those groups that can be distinguished, you can issue a command :highlight Cursor ...to change it (or change it).
But it is rather difficult. Why don't you just change the color scheme and choose a color that is easily recognized under any circumstances ?! (The team :hilists all the colors and helps you choose one.)
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